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1 My Facebook Quote Topic on Mon May 02, 2011 8:21 am

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
Figured I should just make a topic for these lol

*boy whispers to his mom during a wedding*
boy: "Mommy?"
mom: "What?"
boy: "Why is the girl dressed in white?"
mom: "Because this is the happiest day of her life."
boy: "... so why is the boy dressed in black?"

Before Marriage-
Boy: I have been waiting for this day.
Girl: Do u want me to leave??
Boy: NO!!!!
Girl: Do u love me?
Boy: Of Course
Girl: Will u ever cheat on me??
Boy: Never in my life
Girl: Will u ever kiss me?
Boy: Every chance i get
Girl: Will u hit me??
Boy: Are u crazzy..!
Girl: Can i trust u??
Boy: Yes..!!
Girl: Sweet Heart..!
-After Marriage-
(now read from bottom to top)


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My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

2 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Mon May 02, 2011 11:05 am

Roachleader

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I'm here way too much!
LOL! first one wasnt that funny, but the second one made me fall out of my chair. hahahaha.

3 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Mon May 02, 2011 12:26 pm

T@D

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*pWp*Founder*
*pWp*Founder*
Thief....


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"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.... Faith is the denial of observation so that beliefs can be preserved."


*{CHS}* Putch: im bringing sexxy back
*pWp*T@D*: I brought it back. But you are more then welcomed to fluff it.

<-H$*SoStoned / Pillies -: whos your quake fun person of the year taddie bear?!?!??!
*pWp*T@D*: me... dipshit.
*pWp*T@D*: Im the fun
.
http://www.pwpclan.org

4 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Mon May 02, 2011 12:30 pm

Alex

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Quake III Member
Quake III Member
lmao

lol!

5 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 03, 2011 10:30 am

nodata

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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says 'Can u please come over, I have a puzzle and I dont know how to assesmble it.' The boyfriend asks 'What's it meant to be when it's finished' 'A rooster' she replied. She shows him the puzzle. He studied the pieces, looked at the box and says to her 'Firstly, this puzzle will never be assembled.' He takes her hand 'Secondly, I want you to relax, have a cup of tea' He takes a deep sigh and finally says........ 'and u can put the Cornflakes back in the box'


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My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

6 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 03, 2011 1:35 pm

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Today, the class b**tch jokingly asked a slightly overweight girl "So, when are you due?" The b*tch was speechless when the girl replied, "I don't know, ask your boyfriend Wink"


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

7 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 03, 2011 1:46 pm

Roachleader

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I'm here way too much!
rofl.

8 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 03, 2011 4:53 pm

Alex

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Quake III Member
Quake III Member
ahahaahahahahahahahaha lmao lol!

9 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 03, 2011 4:59 pm

TheRustySpoon

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Quake III Member
Quake III Member
my friend's:

"Canadas largest practical joke unfolds as quebecers, lovers of humour, elect mass ndp."


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10 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 03, 2011 6:28 pm

T@D

avatar
*pWp*Founder*
*pWp*Founder*
We have the same joke going around the states by electing Republicans. Once we get some tea baggers elected, then the joke spreads to the rest of the world...


__________________________________________________________________________________________




"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.... Faith is the denial of observation so that beliefs can be preserved."


*{CHS}* Putch: im bringing sexxy back
*pWp*T@D*: I brought it back. But you are more then welcomed to fluff it.

<-H$*SoStoned / Pillies -: whos your quake fun person of the year taddie bear?!?!??!
*pWp*T@D*: me... dipshit.
*pWp*T@D*: Im the fun
.
http://www.pwpclan.org

11 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 03, 2011 8:23 pm

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
WHY DO WE NEED SCHOOL ?
-MUSIC: We have YouTube for that.
-SPORT: I have a Wii.
-SPANISH: I watch Dora.
-ENGLISH: Everything is shortened anyway. (LOL, BRB, IDK)
-MATH: That's why we have calculators.
-GEOGRAPHY: I'll buy a globe.
-HISTORY: They're all dead anyway.


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

12 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 03, 2011 9:54 pm

T@D

avatar
*pWp*Founder*
*pWp*Founder*
Nice Smile


__________________________________________________________________________________________




"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.... Faith is the denial of observation so that beliefs can be preserved."


*{CHS}* Putch: im bringing sexxy back
*pWp*T@D*: I brought it back. But you are more then welcomed to fluff it.

<-H$*SoStoned / Pillies -: whos your quake fun person of the year taddie bear?!?!??!
*pWp*T@D*: me... dipshit.
*pWp*T@D*: Im the fun
.
http://www.pwpclan.org

13 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Wed May 04, 2011 8:59 am

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
Thank you :p

*I walk into the classroom with a jacket on*
teacher: take that jacket off NOW!! they are against school rules
me: OMG, I am so sorry! Is anyone hurt? no? ok....I'll just slowly remove this extremely hazardous jacket....off of my torso....and slowly freeze to death.....
me:but miss, why are you wearing a jacket?
teacher: because it's cold an-
me:EVERYONE GET DOWN! SHE'S GOT A JACKET!
*class gets down and screams in fear*

My personal favorite one that I've read lmao


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

14 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Wed May 04, 2011 9:04 am

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
Ok, this one's pretty good too

WIFE: I wish i was a newspaper,so i'd be in your hands all day
HUSBAND: I too wish that you were a newspaper,so i could have a new one everyday

Rofl

Edit: Figured I could add this one to this instead of making another post, guess I coulda done that earlier but I didn't think about it. Razz

10 Things to Do in English Class:
1. throw paper at your teacher.
2. pretend your class is being attacked by birds.
3. stand up, scream "YEAHH BUDDY!" then sit down.
4. raise your hand to ask a question, and tell the teacher you were summoning "the force"
5. do a cartwheel down the rows of seats.
6. go take a nap in the recycling bin.
7. have a serious conversation with yourself.
8. write something on your forehead in black marker.
9. throw things at the kid next to you.
10. ask to go to the bathroom, and never come back.

I wish I was still in school to do some of these things lol


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

15 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Sun May 08, 2011 10:53 pm

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7

Last night,
my boyfriend had the hiccups.
We were in bed watching a movie & they were so bad,
the bed shock everytime.
I was getting annoyed so I took his hand, looked him in the eye and said
"I'm pregnant!"
Best. Hiccup. Cure. Ever.


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

16 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Mon May 09, 2011 12:01 am

Roachleader

avatar
I'm here way too much!
oh data, you forgot about another class subject from above, and why we also don't need it.

SEX ED - we can learn about that by going downtown in ANY large city and searching street corners with a couple hundred bucks in pocket.

17 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Mon May 09, 2011 12:32 am

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
I couldn't find someone in high school with a dollar, let alone a couple hundred...


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

18 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Mon May 09, 2011 10:26 pm

nodata

avatar
Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
President Bush tried and failed.
President Clinton tried and failed.
President Obama tried and succeeded.
.
The moral of this is...
If you want someone dead, hire a black man.


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

19 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 10, 2011 3:47 am

Virtuosity

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Leader
Leader
nodata wrote:President Bush tried and failed.
President Clinton tried and failed.
President Obama tried and succeeded.
.
The moral of this is...
If you want someone dead, hire a black man.

Excuse me but Obama didn't do jack shit. He sat on his lazy fucking ass and 'commanded' some marines to do it.

Sorry but to be honest Obama doesn't get jack shit credit from me. The marines are the ones that did the work and the ones that KILLED that towel head.

Fuck Obama. I give ALL credit to the marines for being so brave and having the courage to fuck shit up.


--Sorry if I seem hostile, just woke up from nap and shit hit the fan after that.

20 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 10, 2011 4:04 am

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
Seal team 6 did it, actually...

Wink

Edit: Btw, just cuz they're my quotes, doesn't mean I said them...just means I'm quoting them. Razz


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

21 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 10, 2011 6:01 am

Virtuosity

avatar
Leader
Leader
Navy seals, army, marines same shit all part of the U.S. military.

Also I know just quoting the fb quote.

22 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 10, 2011 9:54 am

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
One day in class, a male teacher wrote:
A woman without her man is nothing
On the chalkboard. He told everyone to put correct punctuation marks in the sentence. First a guy came up to the board. He wrote:
A woman without her man, is nothing.
then a girl went up. She wrote:
A woman, without her, man is nothing

Edit: The similarities between jail&& school :
-you learn new things
-people can&will hurt you emotionally/physically
-drugs usage
-gangs
-you must be there everyday
-a waste of your time
Only difference?.
Jail provides free food .
School serves over-priced
unfrozen shit that they
dare call food.


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

23 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Sun May 15, 2011 5:21 pm

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
"Ok, if we get caught, pretend we don't speak english."
...
-"What happened here?!?"
"No hablo ingles!"
-"Oh que paso?"
"....RUUUUN!!"


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

24 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Tue May 17, 2011 7:21 pm

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
I have 2 rules in my life Rule no.1. "I am always right" Rule no.2 "If I appear wrong see rule no.1"


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

25 Re: My Facebook Quote Topic on Fri May 20, 2011 2:48 am

nodata

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Quake Live Member
Quake Live Member
Fact: you cannot breathe fast and hard while your tongue is out and your mouth open.
------
Good boy. Now sit, roll and play dead!
Hope you get it.


__________________________________________________________________________________________


My job isn't to dive feet first into hell, but to make sure it's crowded when I get there.
Death is peace.

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