She

Recalling a time when summer breeze,

Hand of happiness, put life at ease.

An existing knowledge became fantasy.

The stars and sun there night by day.

Belief in a dream put on delay

With one star of hope decayed.

The farther sense, closer unknown.

Oh, how short life has grown.

Forsaken, but will not be alone.

i like it alot (mostly because i can't write poetry) but that was very nice.

It's kinda confusing. It starts with someone remembering someone else... and they were happy. Then seems to change to a fantasy being with them. That it was a though, not reality. Then iy seems to be a sad depiction of what they long for, an instance unknown.... then ends with a factual "your alone" idea.


It's a good read, don't get me wrong... just seems contradicting to me. Granted, I may be reading it incorrectly.

His poem is confusing and i like poems like that don't know why i just do (just my opinion)

T@D wrote:It's kinda confusing. It starts with someone remembering someone else... and they were happy. Then seems to change to a fantasy being with them. That it was a though, not reality. Then iy seems to be a sad depiction of what they long for, an instance unknown.... then ends with a factual "your alone" idea.

You're on the right track. It's about a boy remembering a girl who once was real to him. The complications of the real world (life, money, jobs, school, family, friends, etc.) destroyed the fantasy within both of them. "The stars and sun there night by day" is meaning that every day ends in the same pattern, regardless of who they once were and how they are now. "The farther sense, closer unknown" is a line specifying that along the way of the fantasy, one of them lost sense in themselves, and that the unknown is what the other sees in them. From beginning to end they were always alone, even when they were with each other. But now that one of them changed at the end, the other is literally forgotten, but is not alone (because they know now what the other is really like).

The poem is supposed to span in about a 3-year period. That's why there are three patterns of rhyming.
A
A
A
B
B
B
C
C
C

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed a short read.

I did ty

i'm not a girl and stop writing poems about me

rush wrote:i'm not a girl and stop writing poems about me

Ya, but seriously. You expect anyone to believe that?

same .

Ironically enough, my explanation describes us perfectly. Goddamn it...

tool wrote:Ironically enough, my explanation describes us perfectly. Goddamn it...