Love Is a Doorway

I was having one of my emo moments...so I figured while I'm fucking myself over as far as happiness in this shit, I'd vent some...hope I don't annoy too many of you.
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Love is a doorway to both pain and pleasure, but what happens if all you get is the pain part? Where's the pleasure that's supposed to be there? The pleasure that's understood to be a part of it, a part of love. I try and try to find that pleasure, but all I find is the pain...the pain of the past, the pain of the present, the pain of the future. The past I can't erase, the past that haunts me everyday. The present that confuses me, the present that deceives me. The future I want and cannot have, the future I wish for but will never receive. All of this leads to pain, but I can never find my pleasure.

I wonder why my heart leads me down this path, this path that makes it suffer. I wonder why my heart tries for the things it knows are bad for it, why it leaves itself vulnerable to this inevitible pain it will receive, leaving no room for the pleasure it desires.

Love is a doorway to both pain and pleasure, I walk thru this doorway and look to Pain and ask "Where would I find Pleasure?"

i once felt love was a never ending stairway as i seeked the exit to its endless mind games, all the bull crap mysteries and unnecessary stress, as i relate to your doorway as it is, a beginning, and is still the same beginning, because the doorway never changes, you do. but i understood one thing life is what you make of it, you can love everyone and be optimistic everyday its just what your body and mind are in sync with your true desires. Patience.